Gauging Your Self Worth as a SAHM

“So… What do you do?”

That’s the second or third question I’m asked whenever I meet someone new. It seems harmless enough, but it always makes me cringe a little.

“I stay home with my children.”

Simple right? I guess it should be. But I always seem to follow that up by saying, “I used to be a teacher.”

Why do I feel the need to offer that extra information? Why am I explaining myself? I know the reasons I left my job. I know what I’m doing is important… Don’t I?



It’s been four years since I taught my last group of students… four years since I started preparing for the next group to walk through my classroom doors.

I miss going to work everyday. I miss making a difference. I miss heading up projects that were important to me. I miss working toward a goal, reaching that goal, and celebrating the accomplishment.

It seems trivial enough, but it was important to me. I was good at it.

I miss my coworkers. They were my friends. They lifted my spirit on a daily basis. No offense to my children, but they don’t give a damn about my spirit.


Making the transition from a working-mom to a stay-at-home-mom wasn’t even a choice at first. I did it out of necessity. Our family was in crisis with two new babies in the NICU.

Fast-forward a few years later, and I’m still home. Nothing has been fixed, solved, or accomplished by me not working.

Everyday, is pretty much the same…  I do my best to schedule doctor appointments, therapy sessions, tackle some cleaning, and play with my toddlers. Glamorous, right?


It may sound like I hate this SAHM life. But no matter how stressful, isolating, or tedious my worst days are, it still beats putting my kids in daycare.

Now this is not a mom-shaming article. I put my oldest in daycare until he went to kindergarten. It was wonderful for him.

But having children with special needs changes everything. It’s hard to trust the outside world when your child can’t tell you what’s wrong or what happened. 

And did I mention ho much I love being here when my kids go to school and get off the bus? And how awesome it is to let my oldest kids play hooky from school just so we can spend the day goofing off?

I may not be climbing the ladder to success anymore, but staying home sure has its perks.

on the deck

So my point is this… I know what I do is important. Every diaper change, therapy session, load of laundry I do makes a difference. But who wants to talk about that?

So I guess I will continue to add that extra bit of information every time someone asks me,

“So… What do you do?”


6 Replies to “Gauging Your Self Worth as a SAHM”

  1. Love this! I always feel so embarrassed to say I’m a stay at home mom and I have no idea why. I just feels weird when I tell people. From now on my response will be “I’m raising tiny humans to be productive members of society.” Lol

  2. This is a very nice post..I like your honesty, it is not all glamorous and I always add a second comment to my answer as well due to shame..but in the end I know the reason for my decision to stay at home with the kids.

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